The Real Lord's Prayer

My Dear father In Heaven.


Please don't interrupt me. I'm trying to pray.

But you called ME!

Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying...
My Dear Father in Heaven..

There, you did it again.

Did what?

Called me. You said, "My Dear Father in Heaven."
Here I am. What's on your mind?

But I didn't mean anything by it. I was just, you know,
saying my prayers for the night. I always say my prayers.
It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.

Oh. All right. Go on.

I'm thankful for my many blessings...

Hold it. How thankful?


How thankful are you for your many blessings?

I'm..well..I don't know. How should I know? It's just
part of the prayer. Everyone always said that I
should express my thanks.

Oh. Well, you're welcome. Go ahead...

Go ahead??

With the prayer.

Oh yeah. Lets see...bless the poor and the sick
and the needy and the afflicted...

Do you really mean that?

Well, sure I mean it.

What are you doing about it?

Doing? Who, me?? Nothing I guess. I just think
that it would be kind of nice if You got control of
things down here like You have up there, so
people don't have to suffer so.

Have I got control of you?

Well, I go to church, I pay my tithes, I don't...

That isn't what I asked you. What about your temper?
You have a problem there, and your friends and
family suffer. And then there's the way you spend
your money...all on yourself. And how about the
kinds of books you read?

Stop picking on me. I'm just as good as some
of the rest of them I see every week at church.

Excuse Me. I thought you were praying for me
to bless the needy. If that is to happen, I'll
have to have help from the ones who are
praying for you.

All right. I guess I do have a few hang ups
now that You mention it. I could probably
mention a few others.

So could I.

Look Father, I need to finish up here. This
is taking a lot longer than usual. Bless the
missionaries to be lead to the door of the
honest in heart.

You mean people like Ralph?


Yes, the guy around the corner.

That Ralph!! But he smokes and drinks and never
goes to church.

Have you looked in his heart lately?

Of course not. How can...

I have. I looked..and it's one of those honest
hearts you were just praying about.

OK then, get the missionaries over there. Do you
think I like having a non-Christian for a neighbour?

Aren't you supposed to be a missionary?
I thought I made that pretty clear.

Hey, wait a minute. What is this? Criticize me day?
Here I am doing my duty, keeping your commandments
to pray, and all of a sudden you break in and start
reminding me of all my problems.

Well, you called Me, and here I am. Keep on
praying. I'm really interested in this next part.
You haven't changed the order around have you???
Go on...

I don't want to...

Why not??

I know what You'll say.

Try Me and See.

Please forgive me of all my sins...and help me
to forgive others.

What about Bill?

See. I knew it. I knew you'd bring him up. Listen,
Lord, he told lies about me, and I got fired. All
my co-workers think I'm a first class creep, and I
didn't do anything. I'm going to get even with him.

But your prayers. What about your prayers?

I didn't mean it.

Well, at least you're honest. I guess you enjoy
carrying that load of bitterness around, don't you?

No, I don't. I'll feel better as soon as I get even..

Do you want to know a secret?

What secret?

You won't feel better. You'll feel worse. Listen
to me. You forgive Bill and I'll forgive you.

But, Lord, I can't forgive Bill.

Then I cannot forgive you.

No matter what?

No matter what. But you aren't through with your
prayer yet. Go on.

Oh, all right....please help me to control my
feelings and not to yield to temptations.

Good. Good. I'll do just that, but you have
to stop putting yourself in all those places
where you can be tempted.

What do you mean by that?

Quit hanging around the magazine racks and
spending so much time in front of the tube.
Some of that stuff is going to get to you
sooner or later. You'll find yourself involved
in some very terrible things before long...
and don't use me as your escape hatch either.

An escape hatch? I don't understand?

Sure you do. You've done it lots of times---you
find yourself in a crisis situation, then you
come running to me. "Lord, help me out of this
mess and I promise I'll never do it again." It's
amazing how the quality and intensity of your
prayers improve when you are in trouble. Do you
remember some of those bargains you tried to
make with me?

Well...I don't the time
Mom's visiting teacher saw me coming out of
that movie about...oh brother.....

Do you remember your prayer? I do. "Oh God. Don't
let her tell my mother where I've been. I promise
I'll go to nothing but "G" rated movies from now
on." She didn't tell your mother, but you didn't
keep your promise, did you?

No Lord, I didn't. I'm sorry.

So am I. Go ahead and finish your prayer.

Wait a minute. I want to ask you a question.
Do you always listen to my prayers?

Every word. Every time.

Then how come you never talked to me like
this before?

How many chances have you given me? There's not enough
time between your "Amens" and your head hitting
the pillow for me to draw a breath. How am I
suppose to give an answer?

You could, if you really wanted to.

No. I could if YOU really wanted me to.
Child, I ALWAYS want to.

Father, I am sorry. Will you forgive me?

Yes, my child, I will. And thanks for letting
me interrupt. I get lonely to talk with you
sometimes. Good night. I love you my child.

Good night, Lord. I love you too!

~ Author Unknown ~

James 1:17 KJV

But whatever is good and perfect comes to us
from God, the Creator of all light, and he shines
forever without change or shadow.

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<bgsound src="images/turn.mid" loop=0>
"I'll Turn To You"

This beautiful song, and many others,
are available at Songs of Praise.

Created on ... September 12, 2010